As promised last week, here is the Q&A with Wiz Rollins of Bad Shape (among other things) fame. If you clicked any of the links last week, you won’t be too surprised to fins that the following contains some off-color language; his words, not mine.

Anyway, on to the interview:

Are you a professional artist? (Art degrees count, even if you’re not drawing for money right now)

I’m not a professional artist, no.  I was a theatre/education major in college with a minor in Physics.  So my right brain and my left brain frequently give each other handjobs, but I’m not particularily [sic] talented when it comes to anything beyond scribbling.  I’d point to my work on Bad Shape and Yellow Pad Wizard and as evidence of that.  Heh.

But as of late, I’ve been fortunate enough to work with truly talented guys like DJ Coffman and Bob Sugar.  So the art gets served on a sterling platter, ya know?

What is the name of your comic?

Well, I work a number of comics and I wouldn’t call all of them mine.

I started with Bad Shape in late 2005.  That was all me.  I started injecting Yellow Pad experiments into the BS site after a while.  I’m also the co-creator of There’s Always Porn with my good friend, Bob Sugar.  But, right now, I think I’m best known for my writing on Yirmumah.  But that’s definitely not my comic.  DJ Coffman has been working that pony for years now.  I just sorta lucked into that one.  He’s got a Platinum/Image comic deal and needed a hand keeping Yirmumah afloat.  He’d been a long time fan and supporter of Bad Shape and, in the past, we’d discussed the possibility of me writing some guest strips for him.  Well, it’s gone a little further then “guesting” now.

What genre would you attribute to them?

They’re all very different, but they share a similar tone… is over-the-top a genre?

What are they about?

I’ll try and keep these to one-line bullets… Bad Shape follows the sordid adventures of a circle and rectangle who it keep it real, way too real… Yellow Pad is about whatever strikes my fancy (usually while shitting)… There’s Always Porn is about a trio of thirty-somethings who discover their one true calling in life, webcasting the internet’s most bizarre stream of amateur porn… and, to wrap things up, Yirmumah is basically about a husband and wife, their friends, and an all out assault on pop-culture, political conversation, potty clichés and anything else that has the initials “PC”.

What is your ethnicity?

Black and Puerto Rican.

Do your comics have an all-black cast?

No.  None of the comics that I work on have an all black cast.  I’m not sure there’s ever been any conscious though[t] put into that but, if required to answer, I guess I’d have to say that an all black cast wouldn’t really be all that representative of me, the writer.  I’m a double-chocolate mix.  My wife is Filipino, our two little girls— Afro-FiliRicans?  My brother’s wife is white.  My wife’s four brothers and sisters are married to white, black, yellow, white… I work in a very white place, live in a very black city and eat Sunday dinner with my very yellow in-laws.

An all-black comic would probably limit what I’ve got to say.

Who are the black characters in your comic?

In Yirmumah, well, there’s me.  I’m the newest character to join the line-up and I basically play me, the home version.  DJ doesn’t know it yet, but I’ve got plans to introduce my wife as a character too.  In TAP, there’s a black character by the name of Andre.  Andre’s the guy who actually runs the site and the servers that serve out… the porn.  He’s basically me, the work version.  And then there’s Bad Shape… and that’s where things get really interesting.  From day one, people have been asking me… are Blue and Slim black or are they white guys who “talk” like they’re black?

What kind of shit is THAT?

My answer:  “They’re fucking shapes.”

Of course, when Bad Shape first started, no one knew who Wiz Rollins was.  No one knew if I was white, black, brown, electronic… I was a known unknown.  What was weird is that I’d get email from people asking me “Are you black or white? Cause, if you’re black, this is hilarious.  But, if you’re not, this borders on racist.”

My answer:  “I’m a fucking hexagon.”

Being as honest as possible, do you think that this is even a topic worthy of discussion?

I think this is COMPLETELY worth[y] of discussion.  I mean, some folks like to ignore race and say it’s not a factor in anything they’re doing.  That’s just nonsense.  If you live in the USA, race permeates a good chunk of your day whether you care to admit or not.  Having said that, I think it’s only one of many things that we as a webcomic community should be discussing.  I mean, I seriously think we need to dedicate some time to a dialogue on titties.  What say you to that?

To clarify: do you think that a perceived lack of black (or any other minority, for that matter,) characters is something that needs to be addressed, for lack of a better term, or discussed?

No.  I don’t think it needs to be addressed in a formal manner because WHO would address it?  I mean, the web isn’t like network TV.  There’s no boardroom of executives deciding what the programming’s gonna look like.  If I don’t see a single black face on NBC or CBS, well, yeah, I’m gonna be pissed because I know SOMEONE is deciding not to show black people.  But… on the web?  There’s no uberforce for online comics.  Comics represent the creators behind them.  So, if someone feels there aren’t enough black faces in webcomics then THEY should put one in there comic.  Case closed.

That’s it for this week; I have my own comic to work on (among too many other things). I’ll see you next week. And for those of you who might have been wondering, I’m still debating if I can reasonably get away with the “dialogue on titties.”

Still working may way through some unfinished business, namely the Black Webcomics Roundup. So, here is the first of the remaining three comics; “Bad Shape!”, by Wiz Rollins.

Before I give you the link, I’ll just let you know that Bad Shape has adult language, situations, and a pair of… “urban-themed” geometric shapes as the protagonists. It’s more or less safe for work, but probably not for the easily offended. So click links in this post at your peril.

That having been said, I think that this comic is quite funny, not to mention just plain witty at times. Wiz responded to my interview questions with such refreshing candor, I was tempted to just copy/paste it and call it a night. But, I figured I should give you my perspective on the comic before I give you his. Watch this space next week for the full interview.

As Wiz described it, “Bad Shape follows the sordid adventures of a circle and rectangle who keep it real, way too real…” That’s pretty close to what I’d have said. And, as many of us know by now, Keeping it Real is one of the easiest things in the world to mess up.

The comic starts with a math pun in the first page, but this isn’t indicative of the theme of the series overall. It kind of wanders from joke to joke at first; a number of them seasonal, like a lot of gag-a-day strips are, with its minimal character design and even more minimal set leaving plenty of room for verbose gags. In a number of cases, the comic could be strictly text, and still work quite well, like this sequence between Blue and his triangular girlfriend, Trina.

It only took me a year and a half to get that joke, by the way- Trina, triangle. Get it? I actually like the math humor a little more than the sordid antics, and that’s my only complaint. But when it does show up, it’s pretty funny. I can’t say for sure if the comic could have carried itself as well as if does on the back of such subtle (and awkward) humor, but it bears mentioning.

Ironically enough, Blue, the circle often ends up playing the “straight man” role (comic foil, not sexual orientation- it’s that kind of comic, it could have gone either way), as his rectangular homeboy Slim tries to fit a stereotype that he knows far less about than he really cares to admit, but embraces wholeheartedly, for good or for ill.

Blue’s understanding (he has his own quirks, but he manages to keep them under wraps- for the most part) of the subtleties involved in living as an urban shape allows him to watch his friend stumble along through it, and builds up their relationship by degrees. The comic seems to have ended or gone on hiatus at an awkward point in Blue and Slim’s relationship, actually; and I hope that it’s not indicative of anything in real life. Read the comic, and you’ll understand.

That’s all from me tonight, thanks for getting through one of the last legs of the Roundup with me. Enjoy your Memorial Day, people.

In 1998 the brilliant people at Fox TV let Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. starring David Hasselhoff appear on television. Now I have to admit I have never seen the full TV movie. I only caught bits of it, really bad bits. I will not judge the whole movie by the parts I saw. It would not be fair. All I really have to say is David Hasselhoff as Nick Fury who thought that would be a good idea? But there are worse things out there. The very first Fantastic Four movie. It never made it to the theater, most people have never witness this horror, I was force to watch the whole thing. Still it was much better story wise that the crap they did release in the theater. Sure the Thing looked like an orange stay puff marshmallow man, and the special effect were so bad that it brought you to tears of laughter. They got the basics right and with a better budget it would have been a really good movie. Check it out a full write up at this site: www.i-mockery.com . Check out the trailer on this site: www.slashfilm.com. I should take another look at this movie. While doing the research on this Blog I remember how much I liked Doctor Doom’s costume. I wish that this was the only train wreck that is flying around out there.

Here is a small list of what I call the awful comic book projects.

At the top of my list has to be:

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) - Wow what a mess.

Then there are :

Batman & Robin (1997)
SuperGirl (1984) – But hey it was the 80’s.
The Punisher (1989) (I have never seen the one from 2004 I am sure it sucked too.)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

There is a truckload of movies I am sure are really bad but I have not seen them all. Till next time…

Sean “Sapo” Pisano

Yes I am a comic book junkie. Not the kind of junkie that needs that quick cheap fix. I need the good stuff. You can’t just throw together a comic and have it work for types like me. First the story has to be rock solid. If it’s a character that has been around for awhile you can’t just make him do something that does not make sense with his history. So as a comic book junkie (A conkie, my name for it.) and a love of all things celluloid, I feel the need to see every superhero movie that comes out. I have to say being the comic book snob that I am. I have not been impressed.

Until now…. Iron Man. I went in totally jaded; all I can think was man this is going to be another Spidermen 3.

I am now impressed. I liked this movie. I liked it allot. It was pure comic book. Not once did I feel like they were trying to explain anything to me. The special effects did not overwhelm the movie but enhanced it. I brought it hook line and sinker. I think the movie also worked for people who never read Iron Man. It was a fantastic lesson on how to do a comic book movie the right way. So I again say keep your Hollywood out of my comic books.

Go see the Iron Man movie encourage the powers that be to continue to make movies that reflect what the fans love about the comics they read.

Next Blog… Really bad comic book movie projects to check out. Hint Hint David Hasselhoff as Nick Fury…..

So my girl Tammy and I have decided to move in together…dun dun daaaaaaahhhhhh. Actually, I’m looking forward to it. It means we get to bask in each other’s glowing warming warming glow. What it really means is that my affection for porn, illegal ferret races and Cuban cigars needs be purged. When and how did I get to be such a scumbag? The jist was to stay in Brooklyn, no offense but I hate the Bronx. I stick out in the bronx like a midget center for the Houston ROckets. yeah, you have the zoo, and parts that are so suburban that Opie Cunningham sightings are frequent, but in all honesty I’m a Brooklyn dude. I know most of the layout and it’s many “scenes”. Williamsburg is still an oddity to me mainly because it has steadily changed with every year it’s made a name for itself. It’s hipster haven and that’s no secret, but when I see Bushwick being called “east williamsburg” one has to wonder when it will end, or when someone will pass a bill allowing the hunting of hipsters to quell the growing population, legal! Maybe if people didnt stare at me there like a red unicorn I’d be OK (notice any black hipsters?). Or maybe if they didnt guard their little scene like they are not still in Brooklyn or maybe if they would just realize that all the black hair dye and over-sized glasses in the world wont stop you from aging and eventually dying….oh wait, I got too real. back to puppies licking ice ream cones!

To say that NY is expensive is like stating that the atom bomb was a big explosion. The rent Tam was paying before could secure her a house in other states, or even a mob hit! For an African-American couple, let’s just say that certain neighborhoods don’t readily accept us with open arms, yes there’s still racism-a-brewin’ folks! 2008 and I still have to worry about people renting to me or the type of neighborhood that I decide to call home. I had broadened my search to Queens when I was reminded that certain Queens neighborhoods are very Greek or very Indian or very Asian or very…..wait, I’m still a human, right?! I don’t get it, what of major advances, talk of peace, and equality? nope. Reply hazy, try again later. A capitalist society notes that if I have the cashola to afford an apt. then I shouldn’t have any problems getting it, unfortunately, a map has to be erected in my head with pegs and bullet points classifying different neighborhoods and safe-zones. *sigh*

Recently there is a “trend’ with the disappearance of a real kitchen, instead it has become kitchen/living room combos. Even a small kitchen would be a step up from that shared space scenario. It is just more of a tell tale sign that you are living in a box in this city, a pricey little cubicle away from the office. Some have patio/terraces which are a major plus because you can step out of somewhere, the view can be undesirable depending on where you are, but there is still the option of fresh air coming into the space as well as light. And you can BBQ. I love me some BBQ.

Eventually, we’ve seen this prime location in Park Slope just a little off from all the activity, but still close enough to enjoy the bars/restaurants.  In the past I joked about when we were going to move there and Tam never forgot it.  The brownstone itself is a little….wayward, it has space but some caveats that we can’t seem to ignore, we would really be living like European artistas (which sounds better than it is).  Don’t get me wrong, we’d be showering…showering and thats all, there isnt a bathtub!!!!  There also arent any real closets….but its Park Slope!!!!

Stay tuned to see if I finally snap and live in a milk crate.

I’m back. I needed a break from the review scene- I had bitten off more than I could chew with the Black Webcomic Roundup, and it had gotten to be a chore instead of something fun. But, now I’m back, and ready to blog about comics again, starting next week.

On a completely different note, I am going to talk to you for about 700 words about snack cakes. Think of it as a warm-up blog, or dessert before a real meal next week.

This might be because I grew up in Brooklyn, or because I have a head full of sweet teeth (and the fillings to prove it, but that’s also partly genetics) but I’ve had a deep and abiding affection for the confections of one auburn-haired little girl ever since I was old enough to buy my own lunches.

A auburn-haired little girl who’s done a lot of “filling out,” if you catch my meaning.

Why all the double entendres, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. The Little Debbie cakes that I have known and loved for so long have- well, for lack of a better phrase, grown up.

Simply put: In a world where low-carb battles size acceptance on a daily basis, the good people over at McKee Foods have flown full in the face of any sort of nutritional guidelines, and doubled the size of several of their products. Cakes affected by this growth spurt include, but are probably not limited to their Zebra Cakes, Oatmeal Crème Pies (which are somehow listed as “cookies”), and Swiss Rolls. In addition, the prices of said items have doubled as well, from $.25 printed on the packaging to $.50. (The original sizes are still available, but they have increased in price up to $.35 cents, and are not as readily available in most places that I know of as the plus-size snacks.)

While this makes perfect sense, as you’re getting twice the snack, I can’t help but ask myself, does America, especially low-income America where these items are pretty much exclusively sold, really need bigger Little Debbie cakes?

Furthermore, should these “bigger and more” cakes really be crowding out their smaller-boned brethren at the local bodegas? I haven’t seen much of the smaller breeds of Ms. Debbie’s wares in my neighborhood for some time lately, and in a fit of lunchtime pique, I took home a “Double Decker Oatmeal Crème Pie,” along with a “America’s Original Swiss Cake Rolls.” Each of these cakes weighs in at 3.8 ounces. Let me rephrase that.

EACH OF THESE CAKES IS NEARLY A QUARTER POUND.

After cooking. Unlike some other foods out there.

Compare the sizes of the “Big Snack” to the “Single Serve.” Let’s use the Oatmeal Crème Pies, because that’s what spurred me to write this. I don’t have a camera, so you’ll have to look at their website, unless I get one soon.

Anyway, in all its forms, (and this may be the cognitive dissonance talking) the Big Snack is simply HUGE. I wish I could show you how big this thing is, say compared to my wallet. It’s like someone took a normal Little Debbie Oatmeal Crème Pie, then took half of another one, and mashed the two of them together. Not only do they have the nerve to call this a cookie (and worse yet, a single serving, at that!), but they also refer to it as a “snack.”

It’s something that probably should never been put into mass production, instead belonging in the realms of “DIY Pimped-out food.” I felt like a slob just holding it in my hand.

I took two bites (yeah, I ate it; weren’t you reading the first paragraph?), then the part of my brain that made me do Tae-bo that morning demanded that we stop eating this… thing. So, I cut it in half, then ate the half with the bites in it, and glanced at the back of the wrapper, at the “Nutrition Facts.”

What I found was shocking. See for yourself (click for fullview):

That’s right folks. For only $.50, you can have 28% of your Daily Value of fat, and 8% of your fiber for a day!

I’m not sure what else to say, really, aside from that short of deep-frying these things, you probably couldn’t make them any worse for you, and expecting people to eat this much of them at once is more than a little absurd. But then again, not much about Little Debbie is so little anymore, it seems.

I’ll see you next week for a return to webcomic reviews. Right now I need to go for a run.

I’ve been rocking the game Mass Effect for some time now, kinda got it along with my Xbox360 2 months back, and I have to say, I love the game. In light of being buggier than an acre of termite mounds in Africa, the sci-fi epic has a charm and deep rooted sensibility not found in most action rpg’s. It weaves a story and is fun (go figure?) and the dialog affords laughable moments and personality customization which steers clear of the bore-fest that alot of rpg’s suffer from. Basically you are playing an episode of star trek (yeah, how come there are no star trek games like this?). My fanboy-ism even extends to the art of the game (I bought the book) and character designs and functionality of each species is spot on, void of extraneous add ons just to make a character cool, there are REASONS why beings look and act the way they do. I felt sad when my Krogan pal ate it, and I lost much0 respect for Ashley…She then suffered from an untimely death shortly after. R.I.P @!$%.

I’m pretty close to the end now, and one thing keeps burning in to my mind….will I ever get close to the blue alien Asari scientist Liara? I mean, I’ve seen footage of the eventual love fest that COULD go down…Did I ruin my chances LOL? There was a point in the game where she was super into me, and I played it cool, didn’t show too much interest, let things develop smooth-like. I mean, she’s from a race of cobalt skinned lesbians, I don’t want to be like every other Salarian and be all over her! A quick trip to the Asari consort showed me the freaky side of the galaxy, but i ruined that too by being content with a mind meld, then seeing Youtube footage of what can only be described as a Xenomorph mating coil. Acid for blood?, hate to see your other fluids! This intergalactic Bunny ranch made me pursue a more heated conversation with the doctor. I found out that she is new to the whole ‘melding’ thing. OK. Humans know how to ease the gravity of a situation, or so I thought. Eventually I talked my way out of an encounter with her, i think. How? easy. I offed her bat-@#$% crazy mother matriarch Benezia.

Benezia was Saren’s right hand broad, or better yet, his arm candy. If that chick is anything like her mother, she’s alien dynamite. I’d be a galactic moron not to, right? Women love a spectre…and I IS THAT. My doubty-iffy attitude (plus the dead mother thing) has turned her off however, and I guess in space, no one can hear you elude to a roll in the cargo bay. If Ashley didn’t off my boy Wrex, and would shut the hell up about her stupid family, me and her could talk. But alas, I’m out of alien love interests and 95% done with the game. Damn. Time to pimp out the Normandy!

more to come, soon….

D. “Endless Mammal”

Presenting…..ANIME BOSTON 08 (a.k.a. the search for the definition of an A-hern)

Milestones. Simply put, last weekend was about milestones and achievements of various kinds. My first trip to Boston, My first time sleeping with a long-haired chronic snorer, My first smell of skunk (it wasn’t that bad), My first time playing “count the Narutos“, My first encounter with Chris at the wheel molesting the road, and My first major convention!!! Oh, and the search for the definition of an “A-hern”. The city of Boston welcomed us with open arms and more pedestrian jay-walking than you can shake a stern finger at (what, your stop lights don’t work?) The initial 5 hour drive left us drained upon arrival Friday night, but then we hit the Hynes running Saturday morning (no thanks to a Smuttynose imperial stout the night before, a.k.a. motor oil in a glass.) I hear some people calling Anime Boston “line con” and it was. Line-a-palooza, the lineth-fair, The Vans Line Tour, Line-fest or Line-Aid, whichever way you katana slice it, THERE WERE A LOT OF LINES. Except no bathroom lines, go figure. I wouldn’t be surprised if some simply “went” in their Bleach costumes…hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if they mastered bladder defying jutsu. Yes, it is that serious.

Hoardes of Narutos, Sasukes, Ichigos, and Inuyashas were there. Sadly, no bra defying Tenjho Tenge characters (I love you Natsume Maya!), oh well, maybe next year. The dealer’s room brimmed with activity, and I was amazed at the number of things going on at the same time, from panels to Cosplay chess, to masquerade zaniness. There was a ton of cosplay, so much that I felt like I was in an alternate universe where costumes grew from the skin. Where do you find the time to make, how do you decide who (or what) to be, how do you walk in 6 inch stilettos when you are a 14 year old?!! Yes, the “reveal factor” was at an all time high for the teeny boppers. This can get a @#$% in trouble. I’ve seen Lolita, and I know that asking for candy money with them big eyes is a recipe for 10-15. Still, I remember a time when schoolgirl outfits were worn by actual school girls…has it ever been kosher?

Sapo took control of things early. Once we set up our booth and had Chris’s beat a-going, and the tripod and cosplay contest ready, we were all set. Many thanks to those who provided a healthy turnout, I was amazed at the work and dedication put into some of the outfits, they would definitely put my halloween outfit to shame. The raffle, though not advertised to the fullest, went well too. Many came for the cosplay pic and stayed for the chance to win a Nintendo DS Lite. I mean, who doesn’t want to catch em’ all? As for our jumpsuits? well, Sean’s seem to fit like a ‘tater sack, and Chris made it work a’ la Project Runway, but my suit was more like Pam Anderson in Keira Knightley’s 7 year old jammies. See example.

Chris and I had an opportunity to check out some of the other events, a panel on the worst anime of all time (no, not Sin) a robot movie made in the 70’s that I forget the name of. Most of what I remember from it are the sarcastic comments and the robot having frail ankles for his enemies to target. Ultimately, he also contained wheels which sprouted from his knees, so he had the last laugh. And we all laughed at the absurdity of the anime, some fan-boys tried to rebuke the importance of the story…they were shot down cold. Also, Chris and I peeked into some viewing rooms at various anime morsels, but didn’t stay long. I cant’ even recall what animes the scenes were from. Ultimately, we found our way onto a massive line for Hentai dubbing. Oh, yes, hentai dubbing..we also caught some fan AMV’s which delighted and moved the crowd, nice editing and powerful fan favorite soundtrack. I’m sure quite a few will be available on Youtube.

The best part of the movie was Stan “The Man” Lee’s cameo. To tell you the truth I did not have high expectations for the movie in the first place. Mostly I was bored by Peters struggles with his girl friend, his best buddy and now his dark side. I am so done with Mary Jane. I am done with all the villains being somehow connected to Peter Parkers life. I am completely done with everyone and their mother knowing who Spiderman is. For the love of god keep your mask on. It would have been nice if Spidey did not have to rescue Mary Jane again. Yes he has to rescue Mary Jane.

The fact is this is not the Spiderman I grew up with. In the comic, after Peter Parker got bite by the spider he went through some hard trials that lead him to becoming Spiderman. These trials lead him to becoming a stronger, confident, and mature man. He had responsibility’s that weighed heavy on him, Spiderman kept him focused. He never pined over any one woman, to me that makes him a weak little man, not capable of making emotional decision.

The problem I have with Peter Parker and Spiderman in the movie is that after three movies he is still the emotional cripple he was as a teenager. He is still learning the lesson of the wise old sage Ben Parker. When they finally give Peter Parker some balls it’s because he turned to the dark side. Even all the villains were teenage wimps it was like watching saved by the bell. The sandman was even whining at the end of the movie, I don’t mean to be a villain will you ever forgive me? I forgive you mister Sandman. It was like watching an after school special.

In conclusion this is the last Spiderman movie I will see. I have no faith in the movies. This movie was not all that different than the last two. I do not recommend anyone else spend their money on it. It only encourages their laziness. Wait till it come on DVD and rent it from Netflix.